a dream in the new

Day after day it's there. Waiting. Mocking. Speeding things up like a broken timepiece. But this time it's harder, because I know what to expect--the unglamorous part of it, the loneliness, the unknown submersion. Yes, it's inevitable but one can still grieve. Grieve over another lost self, another life, another home. Helplessly wonder about the new. Maybe things will improve this time around. They did the first time, if ever so slightly. One can hope.